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Don't fall; Rise in love!
No topic has been discussed more than love. For ages we have been
the audience to great love stories, some happy and some tragic.
The mere mention of love puts a shine on some people's face while
a layer of sadness appears for those who failed in love relationships.
People "fall" in and out of love every now and then.
I personally believe that love is a gift that we should enjoy to
the fullest. But whenever I look around, I don't see anybody enjoying
it.
Some people feel upset, frustrated and irritated. They put all
the blame on their partners, and soon they change their partners.
The same thing happens again with the next partner. Eventually,
the blame moves to love in general. If not love, then circumstances,
situations, etcetera gets blamed. Have any of us ever tried to find
out why love gives us so much pain? Let's take some moments out
of our so-called love lives, and see what's really happening.
I believe that love is becoming a synonym for infatuation. After
a couple of meetings, both boy and girl declare that they are in
love. Then, sooner or later, both of them are in "love"
with somebody else! This cycle is just unending. The problem lies
in labeling physical attraction as love. If love is a flower, then
infatuation is a plastic flower. Both look like same but only the
real flower can bestow its beauty on you. You can possess and keep
the plastic rose for years. You can keep it to satisfy your mind
but you can't satisfy your heart with it.
We need to understand that we can't make love happen. Just let
everything go smoothly and it will happen by itself. I am not saying
to avoid approaching those you like. Approach these people with
pure heart and feelings, but only to be friends. Don't think that
you might be the ideal couple. Don't confuse infatuation and love.
After you get to know the difference between love and infatuation,
only then you will be able to enjoy the love!
Love should be unconditional. We often put conditions in front
of love, such as desiring someone who doesn't talk too much or who
is more social. It's wrong to call this love. Love doesn't need
any conditions. We might not realize it but it's these conditions
that are responsible for our failures and pains in love. Always
remember, if others love you or if you love others, love them as
they are. If you try to change people in order to love them, then
it's not love. It becomes a deal. Love is very bad at doing business.
It knows no dealings.
Consciously or subconsciously, we destroy our lives by demanding
too much from our partners. Our mind is very calculating and very
greedy. It never gets satisfied with anything. If our partner spends
three hours with us, we want him to spend another two hours. If
he eats breakfast with us, we want him to eat lunch and dinner with
us. This creates irritation. We need to understand that we have
to enjoy our time to the fullest. Even if it is 10 minutes, we can
spend those minutes by caring and loving each other. But most of
us spend those 10 minutes fighting and arguing over the fact that
why the other partner has just 10 minutes to spend.
If not corrected early, it starts happening everyday. Every day
there is an argument over the same thing, and very soon the relationship
ends because of such senseless demands. Some people say that whenever
they are with their partners, they talk about their job or themselves
all the time. Maybe the job and family is where they find excitement.
Just enjoy that moment. Keep one thing in mind-that the more demands
you put in front of your partner, the more distance you are creating
in your relationship. You may not realize it in the beginning, but
by the time you realize it, it's too late!
Something worth mentioning is possessiveness. Partners try to posses
each other always. They need to understand that love is not a commodity
that one can possess. We think that if we don't possess each other,
that means we don't love each other. By possessing our partner,
we prove our love! I suggest you to let your love fly like a bird.
Put 100 percent trust in it. If it's yours it will be with you always.
If it's not, then let it go. Let it beautify some other person's
life. Somebody else will beautify your life. Never forget that if
you try to possess your love, then you are insulting your love.
If you respect your love, then let it fly in the air. You will see
its beauty when you actually start practicing it.
Last but not the least is jealousy, which I believe is the most
harmful thing in any relationship. I have personally seen many beautiful
and long relationships destroyed because of it. Jealousy arises
when a partner can't bear to see the other partner with some other
person of the opposite sex. I believe love is all about making the
other person happy. Do you think he will be able to be happy with
you if you take him away from others? Absolutely not. Nobody likes
to be enslaved. Let your partner be happy with others. If your love
is pure, your partner will realize he can't get the happiness that
you give to him from others.
Jealousy also creates weird situations in the mind. We start suspecting
every action of our partners and creating narratives and scenarios
in our heads. We get jealous before anything even happens. Read
the newspaper every day for a week and you will read at least one
story regarding the murder of somebody due to jealousy. It's bliss
if you are not jealous by nature. If you do get jealous, I would
suggest you to drop it right now before it ruins your life, as well
as others'.
The topic of relationships is so vast that a whole book could be
written on it. The point of writing this article is let you know
the beauty of love and how to enjoy it to its fullest. We all need
to revise our dictionaries. We have to stop using the phrase "fall
in love." Instead we all have to "rise in love."
Jealousy, possessiveness and demands are some of the ways to fall
in love. Getting rid of them is the only way to rise in love. Just
try to give more and more love to your partner. Don't think you
are getting less love. It's not a stock market in which you have
to get a bigger return on what you have invested. It's love, which
knows no such things. If you find it difficult or weird, it's not
your fault. I hope that after reading this article, at least half
of Baruch would rise in love. You will see how beautiful it is.
All the best!

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