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Dealing with failure - By Chandresh Bhardwaj
All of us want to be successful. All of us have big dreams. We
all try very hard to achieve them. But on our way to achieving those
dreams, if we face a failure, we just break down totally. Sometimes
we don't even feel like trying the same job again just because of
the failure we faced in the previous attempt. And if we get up and
start doing it, we are not able to put our 100% in it. Consciously
or unconsciously, the fear of failure affects our performance. Students
put so much effort in studying for exams, and if they end up getting
a B or C, then they hardly look forward to next semester. If we
stop doing everything just because of the fear of failing, then
the world will come to an end. Then, what exactly should we do to
overcome it? Let's take some moments and see if we are able to conquer
the failure or if failure would be able to conquer us!
Changing point of view-->>First of all, we have to stop looking
at failure in a negative way. People tend to link failure with weakness,
stupidity, and dumbness. I totally disagree with that. I believe
if you are doing something, and you think you are just perfect in
it, that means something seriously is going wrong with it. When
a person thinks he is perfect, he has closed all doors for any growth
or improvement. Whenever there is imperfection, there are million
chances of improvement. A person keeps on growing, but a so called
'perfect person' just stops growing. He is in this illusion of being
perfect which hinders his growth forever. Look at failure as another
step toward success. Make yourself positive enough to see the good
sides of failure.
Don't label yourself a 'failure'-->> If you fail in something,
don't think of yourself as a failure. It just means that you haven't
succeeded in doing the work you were doing. It means that you are
only some steps away from achieving your goal. By labeling yourself
as a failure you close the door for all possibilities of achieving
success. Let me explain this with a beautiful example. There was
a man who failed in business at the age of 21; was defeated in a
legislative race at the age of 22; failed again in business at 24;
overcome the death of his girlfriend at 26; had a nervous breakdown
at 27; lost a congressional race at age of 34; lost a senatorial
race at age 45; failed to become Vice President at the age 47; lost
a senatorial race at 49; and was elected as the President of the
United States at the age of 52! He was none other than Abraham Lincoln.
He could have labeled himself a failure and ruin his whole life.
Instead, he decided to ignore failure and fight against all odds.
Don't behave like a machine-->>Always remember that only
highly intelligent people face big failures. They are the ones who
cannot get things done in a right manner in first attempt. The reason
for this is very simple. A person who follows orders and fulfills
them right away, without thinking, is like a machine. There is no
difference between that person and a machine. You tell him something
and he will do it. However, a successful person is very different.
If you tell him to do something in a certain way, he will ask you
why he can't do it in other way. He will not follow your order blindly.
He always say, "Why not the other way?" He always thinks
different from crowd and that's where he succeeds.
An average student will follow what his professor has to say. He
will learn the whole book and his professor's lecture word to word.
But a genius-minded student would ask the professor so many questions
about the whys and teh wherefores. His questions will be beyond
the coursework.
That average student might end up getting a better grade than that
genius student. But in long term, it will be that genius student
whose name will be remembered for a long time. However, that average
student remains average forever his life. So, stop thinking that
you are a weak or dumb student if you end up getting a low grade
in spite of asking so many questions in every class. Rather be proud
of yourself that your mind is much more polished than other students
in the class.
See what you have learned-->>When you fail to do something,
look back and see how much you have learned. You will be surprised
to see that you have learned so much that you would not have learnt
if you succeeded in the first attempt. Thomas Edison failed approximately
10,000 times while he was practicing on the light bulb! When people
asked him to quit this project, his reply was, "I have gotten
lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't
failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded
is often a step forward...."
If you have this kind of attitude, there is no way why you won't
be successful. Every failure teaches you something. You just have
to see what mistakes you made and learn from them. The more mistakes
you make, the smarter you will become. Just don't make the same
mistake twice because that will make you stupid. Learn from your
first mistake and don't repeat it.
Never give up-->>No matter how people react to your failure,
you should never ever give up. If you start giving up after your
every failure, you will see that you will accomplish literally nothing
in life. You will start doing something and will quit it forever
after you fail in it. In this way, your skills will never be polished.
Your dreams will never see the light of day.
Every success story is also a story of a great failure. The only
difference is that the successful people never gave up. Instead,
they bounced back with a much more energy and enthusiasm every time
they failed. There was a partially deaf child who was expelled from
school because his teachers considered him too stupid to learn.
His mother decided to teach him and show everyone how intelligent
her son is. Her son was none other than the great Thomas Edison.
Edison had only three years of formal schooling.
Be patient-->>Don't get discouraged if it is taking a little
longer than you expected. The more time it will take the better
performance it will give. Don't think that you will never achieve
your goal or you will never get you want. Failure might cause your
goals a little delay but it doesn't mean that you will never achieve
them. It simply means that it will take just little longer. When
Beethoven was young, everybody used to tell him that he has no talent
for music. He knew that he will be the best composer after a considerable
time. Today everyone knows that he gave the world some of the best
music.
Finally, as I wrote in my previous articles, we need to update
our dictionaries. We have to remove some of the words and change
the meaning of some of them. 'Failure' is one of those words whose
meaning needs to be changed. Today onwards, see failure as a chance
to bounce back with full of energy. Look at failure as an opportunity
to improve more and polish your skills. View your failure as a road
to success. I am sure if you follow the above suggestions sincerely,
then you will be one of those rare people who make it big no matter
what circumstances are. All the best!

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