Did you know that forgiveness is one of the best ways to heal a heart? If you’re carrying some hurtful resentment or anger in your heart, I suggest you go to your local library and read "The Power of Forgiving" written by Lisa Collier Cool, published in the May 2004 issue of Reader’s Digest.

"Who hasn’t felt the sting of betrayal, unfair treatment or something more abusive? Many of us cling to the resulting rage and pain, but others choose not to. The latest research shows that learning to forgive those who hurt us can have profound benefits. It’s become a hot new way to manage anger, cut stress, and maybe most important, improve health.

"At an Atlanta conference last fall, some 40 researchers met to review what they’re finding in probing the healing power of making peace. One study showed that giving up grudges can reduce chronic back pain. Another found that forgiveness limited relapses among women battling substance-abuse problems. One intriguing project discussed at the event--run by the nonprofit Campaign for Forgiveness Research--used MRI scans to explore how just thinking about empathy and reconciliation sparks activity in the brain’s left middle temporal gyrus, suggesting we all have a mental forgiveness center set to be tapped.

"So, on top of having profound emotional benefits, purging our anger may also help heal some of what ails us physically. But how do we do it? And what does it mean to forgive?"

The author relates the following story about a mom forgiving the unforgivable.

"Betty Ferguson did what most of us probably couldn’t do: She forgave her child’s killer.

"After 16-year-old Debbie’s 1975 murder, Ferguson grew so despondent she drank herself to sleep every night, and neglected her other four children. Day after day, she cursed the killer: Ray Payne, Debbie’s English teacher, who abducted the teen before taking her life. Payne’s conviction and life sentence didn’t ease Betty’s pain--nor did the absence of any clear motive for the horrific crime. ‘I was consumed by hatred,’ she says. And she suffered constantly with everything from headaches to back pain so harsh she could barely stand.

"In 1981, at her sister’s funeral, a line from the Lord’s prayer struck her: ‘Forgive those who trespass against us.’ She began to read books about forgiveness--and began to feel it might be the answer. She visited Debbie’s grave; the tombstone read, ‘What the world needs now is love, sweet love.’ The refrain echoed in her head.

"Soon, Ferguson was repeating the words ‘I am willing to forgive Ray’ aloud like a mantra. And within months, she wrote to him: ‘I’m done being mad with you. Can I come and share my journey with you?’

"In 1986--11 years after the murder--Ferguson visited Ray Payne in prison. ‘I told him what Debbie had meant to me and how lost and brokenhearted I’d been. He listened, and we both cried. I left a different person: My heart felt soft and light and warm.’

"For friends appalled by what she’d done, she had a ready answer. ‘Forgiveness is the greatest gift I ever gave myself--and my children,’ says Ferguson, who now works as a mediator in a Pennsylvania program for violent-crime victims. ‘It’s been an incredibly healing journey that’s saved my life."