Serving over 22 millions NRIs worldwide
Most trusted Name in the NRI media
We never stop working for you, NRI PEOPLE- OUR NETWORK
 
Chandresh Bhardwaj
NR

Don't fall; Rise in love!

No topic has been discussed more than love. For ages we have been the audience to great love stories, some happy and some tragic. The mere mention of love puts a shine on some people's face while a layer of sadness appears for those who failed in love relationships. People "fall" in and out of love every now and then.

I personally believe that love is a gift that we should enjoy to the fullest. But whenever I look around, I don't see anybody enjoying it.

Some people feel upset, frustrated and irritated. They put all the blame on their partners, and soon they change their partners. The same thing happens again with the next partner. Eventually, the blame moves to love in general. If not love, then circumstances, situations, etcetera gets blamed. Have any of us ever tried to find out why love gives us so much pain? Let's take some moments out of our so-called love lives, and see what's really happening.

I believe that love is becoming a synonym for infatuation. After a couple of meetings, both boy and girl declare that they are in love. Then, sooner or later, both of them are in "love" with somebody else! This cycle is just unending. The problem lies in labeling physical attraction as love. If love is a flower, then infatuation is a plastic flower. Both look like same but only the real flower can bestow its beauty on you. You can possess and keep the plastic rose for years. You can keep it to satisfy your mind but you can't satisfy your heart with it.

We need to understand that we can't make love happen. Just let everything go smoothly and it will happen by itself. I am not saying to avoid approaching those you like. Approach these people with pure heart and feelings, but only to be friends. Don't think that you might be the ideal couple. Don't confuse infatuation and love. After you get to know the difference between love and infatuation, only then you will be able to enjoy the love!

Love should be unconditional. We often put conditions in front of love, such as desiring someone who doesn't talk too much or who is more social. It's wrong to call this love. Love doesn't need any conditions. We might not realize it but it's these conditions that are responsible for our failures and pains in love. Always remember, if others love you or if you love others, love them as they are. If you try to change people in order to love them, then it's not love. It becomes a deal. Love is very bad at doing business. It knows no dealings.

Consciously or subconsciously, we destroy our lives by demanding too much from our partners. Our mind is very calculating and very greedy. It never gets satisfied with anything. If our partner spends three hours with us, we want him to spend another two hours. If he eats breakfast with us, we want him to eat lunch and dinner with us. This creates irritation. We need to understand that we have to enjoy our time to the fullest. Even if it is 10 minutes, we can spend those minutes by caring and loving each other. But most of us spend those 10 minutes fighting and arguing over the fact that why the other partner has just 10 minutes to spend.

If not corrected early, it starts happening everyday. Every day there is an argument over the same thing, and very soon the relationship ends because of such senseless demands. Some people say that whenever they are with their partners, they talk about their job or themselves all the time. Maybe the job and family is where they find excitement. Just enjoy that moment. Keep one thing in mind-that the more demands you put in front of your partner, the more distance you are creating in your relationship. You may not realize it in the beginning, but by the time you realize it, it's too late!

Something worth mentioning is possessiveness. Partners try to posses each other always. They need to understand that love is not a commodity that one can possess. We think that if we don't possess each other, that means we don't love each other. By possessing our partner, we prove our love! I suggest you to let your love fly like a bird. Put 100 percent trust in it. If it's yours it will be with you always. If it's not, then let it go. Let it beautify some other person's life. Somebody else will beautify your life. Never forget that if you try to possess your love, then you are insulting your love. If you respect your love, then let it fly in the air. You will see its beauty when you actually start practicing it.

Last but not the least is jealousy, which I believe is the most harmful thing in any relationship. I have personally seen many beautiful and long relationships destroyed because of it. Jealousy arises when a partner can't bear to see the other partner with some other person of the opposite sex. I believe love is all about making the other person happy. Do you think he will be able to be happy with you if you take him away from others? Absolutely not. Nobody likes to be enslaved. Let your partner be happy with others. If your love is pure, your partner will realize he can't get the happiness that you give to him from others.

Jealousy also creates weird situations in the mind. We start suspecting every action of our partners and creating narratives and scenarios in our heads. We get jealous before anything even happens. Read the newspaper every day for a week and you will read at least one story regarding the murder of somebody due to jealousy. It's bliss if you are not jealous by nature. If you do get jealous, I would suggest you to drop it right now before it ruins your life, as well as others'.

The topic of relationships is so vast that a whole book could be written on it. The point of writing this article is let you know the beauty of love and how to enjoy it to its fullest. We all need to revise our dictionaries. We have to stop using the phrase "fall in love." Instead we all have to "rise in love." Jealousy, possessiveness and demands are some of the ways to fall in love. Getting rid of them is the only way to rise in love. Just try to give more and more love to your partner. Don't think you are getting less love. It's not a stock market in which you have to get a bigger return on what you have invested. It's love, which knows no such things. If you find it difficult or weird, it's not your fault. I hope that after reading this article, at least half of Baruch would rise in love. You will see how beautiful it is. All the best!

 




 

 
 
Chandresh Bhardwaj


Chandresh Bhardwaj, 20 is an Accounting student at the Baruch College. However, he writes articles on motivation, positive thinking, and new ways of living. His readers are all over USA, as well as, oustide the country.