New Delhi, SEPTEMBER 24, 2004
IANS
Choosing a life partner is an important decision. Parents consider helping
their children find a suitable partner their utmost duty and plan for
it from the day their child is born.
Unfortunately, the mere fact that a proposal comes from a well do to
family, or the prospective bride or groom is educated and meets the
threshold to ensure a secure future, does not mean that their child
is guaranteed a lifetime of happiness.
I volunteer at an organisation in New Jersey called Manavi that helps
battered and abused Indian women and have seen some of the worst scenarios.
Many of the victims are unsuspecting immigrants who find themselves
in precarious situations and do not know where to turn.
The move by the Indian government to set up centres in countries with
a high density of Indians to help Indian women in distress will certainly
find acceptance in the US.
This is an issue I see time and time again within the Indian community.
As an attorney, I have had several clients who have been misled by NRI
men who went to India in search of a bride.
Parents believing that they are giving their daughters a better future
happily accept the matrimonial proposal.
For example, one woman, who was a widow with an 11-year-old son, married
a wealthy hotel owner from the US. Once in the US, she learnt that he
also had a mistress.
She became the "maid" to her husband and his mistress. He
threatened to have her deported if she said anything to anyone. Someone
at a local temple gave her a number of an immigration attorney who was
able to "rescue" her.
In another case, a woman who had a young daughter and married in the
US, found that her husband sexually abused the daughter. They called
the police and were able to get a restraining order.
As an attorney, I have had a lot of the cases which have ended in disaster.
Unfortunately, because the Indian community does not like to "wash
their dirty laundry in the open," abused women are encouraged to
tolerate the abuse and accept the "fate bestowed upon them."
Women who are abused have recourse in the US. They can seek to pursue
their immigration status based on filing a self petition as a battered
spouse of a US citizen or Green Card holder.
The basic criteria is to show that they were married to a US citizen
or Green Card holder in good faith, they were subjected to cruelty,
they lived with the abuser, and are of good moral character.
The Immigration Service is sympathetic as long as the facts are true
and well presented. If any law enforcement agency is alerted about domestic
violence, they will act to protect the victim and prosecute the abuser.
If the abuse is documented, then you can show that the woman entered
into the marriage in good faith and fell victim after the marriage.
Sometimes fate of those women who marry H-1 holders and come here as
dependents is worse because if the husband files for divorce once she
is here, she does not have any immigration status to fall back on and
is left in limbo.
She is totally dependent on her husband financially as she is not authorised
to work. What we attempt to do in situations like this is to change
her status to visitor status to allow her to re-organise her life.